5 Questions

Relationship is a mess, most of them are, but a beautiful mess. But wherever we find a mess, we clean it or we at least try to. I have here, 5questions that can clean the mess out of a relationship, suitable for most of them.

I write these questions in a girl point of view, as in a girl/woman should ask them to herself. That is just because it is easier for me to talk from a boy point of view, coz I know what I want from her.

Let me just state that, in all fairness, the 5questions stands good for boys as well as girls. Whoever wants to save their relationship ofcourse. When u’re determined to leave him/her then who’s to stop you.

So when do we need these questions? What to do with them? How are they gonna help us out of a mess? When I first told them to a friend I was talking about problems in a relationship and how to overcome such problems. So it’s for the bad times, obviously.

And, just to make the thinking process simpler and easier (especially for the girls who think a lot, hence resulting in arguments and ultimately –breakup) I’ve added answers to the questions as well.

So, next time when u get so angry that u wanna burst out into an argument, when u feel the urge to fight with each other, hold it for a few seconds, think of the questions below,

1. What will it do to him?

 - It will destroy him, irreparably.

2. If I did the same mistake and he was there in my position, what wud he do?

 - He definitely wouldn’t wanna lose you.

3. Is my point worth the fight/argument?

 - If it’s gonna destroy your partner and ur relationship, then obviously it’s not worth it.

4. What matters the most, proving my point or him?

 - Do we even need an answer for this question? Ofcourse, it’s your partner.

5. Can I just put this all behind me and jus hug him tightly and kiss him?

 - Well, I could get killed for this coz I let the secret out. This is the punch line, the whole point of this blog. Whenever u feel like fighting just drop it, run to him, hug him, works every time. He’ll forget everything, he wud even turn his back on this whole world for you, all he needs is one hug, one kiss (after marriage that is, if I should add, for my Indian folks)

Think this through.

Have a happy valentine’s day..!!

Cheers!!

True Love

What is true love? Okay then what all constitute to be "not so true" love? Can true love happen more than once? We're gonna see some answers for some unanswered questions.

You're in a relationship, things don't work out, one of you doesn’t want this breakup, and ultimately you have a bad breakup. Leaves a scar in you, u're permanently wounded. When u’ve had such a bad breakup from a very bad relationship but still u don't remember the bad things, they never come to your mind. All u have in mind is the beautiful 6months u got to spend with them and u'll treasure it for the rest of your life. True Love!

You see the perfect woman (or man). The one u've seen only in your dreams so far is now standing there in person and speaking with you. You get to know her (him) so well right from your first meet. You fall for her (him) but still don't say her (him) that. Not out of fear or shyness. When you're brave enough to say, "I don't deserve her (him), I'm not so worthy. She's so perfect; she deserves someone better than me. I'm gonna make that happen in all my power so that she'll stay happy forever". True Love!

You spend 4 months with a person. You love them so much. They're not much of a caring type. They ignore you, not intentionally. They just don't know how to care for you. They're numb to love and care. You get annoyed every time they ignore you, but still, whenever you go to bed at night, as soon as you close your eyes, you remember that magic moment that happened once, which has no chance of happening again and all your anger goes out of the window. True Love!

You know a person very well. You like everything she (he) does for you. You have already fallen for the person but you don't show that out. Either from the fear of losing her (him) or u're just shy to express. Maybe even worse, you don't know how to express. You just keep everything to you and once you lose them, sit in a corner and cry thinking "what did I ever do wrong". Not so true Love! (They say Love gives you courage and power, makes you do things that you never thought possible. True love does that, I have personally experienced the power it gives. So when you're just afraid to express its not so true Love) (btw, don't know how to express, just means you're afraid to express, u knw very well how to, u're just scared)

I guess explaining it the other way would be better!
Not so true love: fear, scared, not expressing, don't want to lose him/her, don't wanna hurt anyone (total BS), want everything to go smoothly, "you should only come and talk to my parents", "I luv u", "I'm so happy", "What have you done to me", "U're so romantic", "u cud've been a little taller/fairer than me" - oh wait! Did I miss to mention this, saying the right things too often, or saying the wrong things (which are both same, pretty much) have a high chance of being "not so true Love!" ends in breakup every time.

Now, the 3rd and the most important question, Can true Love happen more than once? Ideally I should say, it depends on how you define Love. But, since most of us get spineless when it comes to love, I'd rather say it out. YES, True Love can happen more than once (but not with more than one person at the same time, please). Love is not a person to live once and die once. And everything else that is not a person can happen twice or more than twice.

Love is a feeling. You have 365 days in a year, how many days do u feel good/bad/worst/happy/sad. If these are feelings, essential feelings on which we build our life and if they can happen more than once, they y not Love. Love is a feeling which we build our life with and it can happen more than once, it has to happen more than once. If you will Love only once in your entire life, then u'l never have a relationship/marriage.

Falling for the same person more than once is true Love and it is the same as falling in Love twice. This is very essential to keep the relationship/marriage going. If you don't fall in love for her/him again and again all through your life you'l just lose him/her. Same stands for falling in love for the second time. Okay u just got out of a relationship, u're deeply hurt, but if u don't fall in love with the right person when they show up to you, just because you feel guilty that u've had one love already, then u'l lose the right person forever.

Fall in Love at every chance you get, thats how your mom and dad are still staying together amidst all their disagreements. I see my parents fight sometimes, but there's not one day they didn't talk to each other. They fall in love with each other at every chance they get, a simple smile, my dad's fav dish, mom's fav TV show. Giving time for each other, the true sacrifice, thats all it takes to build a good relationship.

Fall in Love, Love is good and most importantly, express it!!

2011 was not just a year.

True, it was not just a year, it was a milestone. Sure every year is a milestone we come across and we have no choice otherwise. For every person there is that one special year he/she would treasure for a lifetime. So, here are some of my experiences from 2011 which made this year my treasure forever.

Let’s start from January, oh yeah I had the best dinner ever with my best friend. Been to the same hotel before and after but it was never as good as it felt on dat one day. On the same day I got my call letter from my company. I had my training in Pune so I went by flight, first flight and it was out of the world. Pune was awesome. Cold place, in complete contrast with Chennai in every way.

February, first time in 22years I had a surprise birthday cake from my Patni Pune training batch mates. My best friend didn't wish me on my birthday. 12 people, who I never talked to before wished me on that day. Interesting birthday this year.

Next 2 months, March and April were filled with fun and laughter. Met new people from my batch, learnt a lot about the India I never knew before. Well my batch had 32 people from 16different states, what an opportunity to learn right? Tried a few things, some worked out and some didn't. Misunderstandings, friendship, different people, different cultures, love and a lot more. Patni Pune training was the best thing that ever happened to me so far.

May month I got my posting to Chennai. Back to my hometown after 3 full months of complete freedom. Was a little hard to digest dat I’m gonna lose all the freedom I had in Pune, but its Chennai, well u can sacrifice anything to be in Chennai. Best place in the whole world. My farewell was at Mumbai. Yes, almost the whole batch traveled to Mumbai, the city of dreams. Right from the start of the journey it was an adventure. But the fun lasted only for a day. Oh and I got a proposal too (can't miss dat out). Then my second flight, after a whole day of hugs, tears and farewells, I started back with a bar of Bournville.

June, I bought my first car. It’s not much but it still is my first car and the thrill can never be explained. Gifted the car to my dad, after all he was the one who taught me how to drive (and I’ve been told dat I’m very good at it). July, bought my first DSLR camera. When you're a photographer, buying a DSLR is way more exciting than buying a car. Had a team outing, made new friends, good friends.

Did I write about my team yet?? The best team to grow with, not because it’s always fun to be @Ecom, (it IS a lot fun to be here) but because, a year spent in Ecom would shape me for my whole career. No matter where I go, with the experience I’ve had at Ecom I can survive anywhere, even if I quit IT industry. So, Mr. Bear Grylls, next time you wanna get yourself in a tough situation and survive, try Ecom Run.

So the next 4 months I spend them with my team, surviving. Rich experience, rich learning opportunity and the best way to start a career in IT industry. I'm sure anyone from my team reading this blog will agree with me. Finally, December, office cubicle decoration, exchanging gifts with each other, Christmas and I buy my first business phone (well technically, it’s not here yet, but I’ll be getting it soon). 

So that’s it, a whole year passed away in the wink of an eye. Made new friends, broke few hearts and laughed like hell for the whole 365 days. It was a year filled with love, laughter and blessings. I thank God, the Almighty for giving me this year, no one can ask for more and I never asked for this, which proves, yet again, God is good.

2011 was not just a year, it was a beautiful experience. @22 I don't think the year can get any better. Now it’s New Year, 2012. I'll be 23 and a new journey awaits. New hopes, new dreams. As excited as a kid near the gates of a chocolate factory, waiting for the gates to open. Hoping for the best. May God bless everyone and lets all have a wonderful new year 2012. 

Cheers..!!

False Identities

I see people smile all the time. Sometimes I wonder, are they really happy, how can they be so happy when we're stuck with this work that makes us so tired and exhausted. When we have so much work to do, so many questions to answer, so many people to get to, what gives them the right to be so happy? I used to think, life is unfair, some are always happy and some always struggle.

What I fail to notice is that, there were times when I was happy, smiling, laughing and having fun, the others who I envied were watching me and thinking exactly the same thing "Why the hell is he so happy". This is what I want to talk about. Not just the misconception, but also the veil we put on sometimes, for others to think we're fine, we're happy, like we don’t have any worries in life at all.

In the morning hours I get a chance to watch all the people in my cafeteria. Some discuss politics, some talk work, some talk men (yes they do) and some talk women (well, don't we all know dat). But some people are really alone, like, me for instance; I buy a tea or coffee, stand in a place with a good view of the whole cafe, and look at all the people around me, study them, their behavior, gestures, body language and stuff.

I’ve seen a girl who always sits alone with her breakfast and her coffee, talking on the phone for the whole breakfast hour. There’s this guy who gets his food and sits alone in a table and moments later he is surrounded by people who like to have their breakfast with him. Can’t say if he cares about them, but they feel dat if they spend their breakfast time with him, it'll be all the more interesting. Not just them, there are hundreds of people in my cafe each morning and all of them giving me a hundred different examples to learn the way of life.

So y did I put "false identities" on the top when it’s just about my breakfast and morning tea (it’s actually at every break I get to have, from bf to lunch, evening tea and dinner later). What I’m saying is that most of us are hiding, either behind our laughter or behind a straight face. One who laughs hard, has something inside of him dat makes him worry (stands for a 'her' as well). The one who always keeps a straight face, will be the most enjoyable company, he just needs the right situation and the right, exact amount of push.

Consider the cops for example, or men in power generally, they all have a straight face, army men (oh whenever I say men, can read woman as well). They all have a straight face in their work place, among their juniors, but when it comes to fun and enjoyment, they're on the front line and they make the whole party come alive. All we have to do is catch them when their defense is at its weakest best (which translates to, an excuse to party)

This doesn't just stand for the people in power alone, it stands true for everyone. The random boy, who bitches about everyone and everything, is maybe just afraid that people might think he's weak. The girl, who is always laughing and making others laugh, is hiding some bigger sorrow in her. Each person has a story behind their every gesture, whether it is a smile or a tear. And they all have a "false identity" to cover themselves up, in front of the society.

Read people, try to understand each other's emotions (not each other's minds, which is impossible btw). Talk to people without any hindrance or hesitation, u have no idea what each one has to offer, experience wise and morality wise as well. The mind of a human being is the most complex puzzle in the world to crack, and, as Occam's razor says, the solution is often very simple. Talk to each other, love each other, never have any hard feelings on any person, life is short to be angry on anyone or anything. Life's good. Love it while u Live it (and I think I’ve already said that once)

Cheers!!!

A Few (Face it) Facts

These are a few facts about boys and girls, the misconceptions and misunderstandings between them. Well someone has to talk about it and it better be me (i like advice from others only as much as the person next to me). I'm just laying out some points that i've encountered in my life so far, but the judgement and decision is totally at the reader's risk :P

Boy, every girl wears makeup, whether you like it or not, even the ones you perceive to be ugly. There’s no way around it. Girl, most of us know that you wear makeup so there’s no point denying it and fyi, we luv the subtle makeup u do and all the techniques you use to try and hide it afterwards, when its still pretty obvious ;)

Girl, boys like their space, every man needs his own space. We let u in doesn’t mean u can tamper with it. Just let us have it, we’ll just luv u more for the space you give us (oh and the boy who says he likes to be always checked upon, he’s lying, soon he’l get tired of it). An occasional “hi, what are you doing” is fine, just don’t keep doing it every other hour ;)

Boy, girls are possessive whether you want it or not. They’re insecure, jealous and possessive, just the intensity varies from girl to girl, some are just enough some just go over their limit dats all. If you don’t like a girl being possessive on you, don’t be subtle about it. Just tell dat to her face and convince her (atleast try) that u’re hers and nobody else’s (well dats kind of your job when u’re in a relationship right? to give her the assurance) (and being honest does score some points)

Boy, a girl you like, well has a lot of expectations but lets not talk about dat. A girl who likes you, wants you to sweep her off her feet, to literally lift her up (either develop your body to lift stuff, or choose a suitable girl and impress her, don’t end up impressing the wrong one). This expectation is true for all girls (no matter how much they deny it, they’l luv it when u do). Well, there’s a reason to use the “sweep her off her feet” phrase so often right? :P

Girl, a boy tries to figure you out (yes he does). When he fails he just gets angry (our animal instincts act up, can’t help it). He’s always trying to understand what you want, constantly, sometimes u’re just not helping us by not telling us wht you want and that can cause a whole chain of prblms in a relationship. Not ur fault though, this aspect of a girl I can never understand, why won’t u just let us know wht you want so that both of us can be happy, always above me.

Well, end now. A boy always wants to explore, let him explore ur mind so dat he’s always finding out something new (and u’re safe until u slave us with marriage :P). Don’t let him get bored of you, by which u don’t always have to do something new to keep him to urself (surprise gifts can help make him happy though :D), just let him be wht he wants to be and he’l luv u for dat. A guy likes his freedom; let him have it, everyone’s happy :)
 
A girl is emotional; everything about her is in her emotions. She lives in a world of fantasy. Understand this fact alone and u won’t even have to try and understand her any other way. I’m not telling boys to always respect a girl's emotions, but if u do and give in to it, u get to be the gentleman she always wanted :)

Among all the facts I can talk about physical intimacy, I thought this time around I'll stick with perception (don't wanna let all the secrets out at the same time :P). Kind of hard to decide now, right? Well that’s wht a relationship is all about, always hard to make a decision (for good or for bad :P). And these are just SOME points, there’s a lot we can discuss about this, I mean, a LOT. :D