Interstellar #3 - Time and Gravity as physical dimensions

Here's the second one.

It's difficult (but not impossible) to understand time (or gravity) as a physical dimension, since they're both invisible to our naked eyes and we don't pay much attention to these entities in our daily life. We have 3 physical dimensions that we perceive: length, width and height and 1 invisible dimension "TIME". Let's consider another invisible but a more closer entity around us, AIR. Even though we don't pay much attention to it we know air is always around us. Now let's say we make air visible, let's give air the visibility of water (water is colorless but visible to our naked eyes) what if the air around us is visible to us and it looks and feels like water. By maneuvering our hands through air we can create shapes in it. Make a ball of air and hurl is towards another person, and since air is not affected by gravity this ball will travel through space till it hits another object or encounters another force.

We know that music travels using air as a medium. If air is a visible entity like we discussed then we will be able to see music while its travelling through air. And if, say, we want to share a piece of music we heard, to our friend, we can ball up the music we see in the air around us and flick it over to our friend. He can catch the ball and hence (theoretically) would receive the piece of music we want him to hear. Well all this was simple, but how do you replace time with air from the above example. for that we need to understand time.

Time is divided into three, past, present and future. Now here it gets real tricky. In the movie when cooper travels through the worm hole and finally ends up in Gargantua it's his present time, but inside Gargantua, time is a 4th physical (hence visible) dimension so his past (when Murph was a little girl), his present (floating inside Gargantua) and his "relative to earth" future (Murph has grown up and is as old as her father) are all visible at the same time.

Inside the Gargantua he's said to have reached the singularity. At the point of singularity time cannot exist as we observe from earth. Everything we have experienced with respect to time is present at the same time. On earth time flows only in one direction, but once inside a singularity time does not flow from something or towards anything. It's just present, just like any object which is placed in space will have a height, length and width (3-D). I can imagine Chris asking Kip to explain him how time would appear if viewed as a physical entity, the answer could've been "its present". Everything is present, your past, your future, right from the second you were born to the second you died, everything is present at the same time as physical, observable entities.

Cooper sends a Morse code ("STAY") through one of his physical dimension, gravity, from Gargantua but to an observer (Murph and past cooper) on earth (where there are only 3 visible dimensions) the signal is, first of all received with immense time gap between two alphabets and second of all bent through space-time and appears in 3-D, a book falls from the shelf.

the second signal, with dust and gravity (binary code) is also sent through the same 5th dimension of gravity from Gargantua. Cooper is able to see his past (all his pasts in different views arranged in a grid, like books in a library) right in front of his eyes so he knew that the dust storm would take place in one of grids and he searches and finds it. In this scene we can actually see the 5th dimension of gravity as a visible physical dimension. Now he can modify his physical dimension gravity on Gargantua, just like arranging books in rows and for the observers from earth (3-D) it appears as though the dust is settling itself in columns. The places where the dust failed to settle have less gravity than the ones where dust has formed a column on the ground. This change in gravity pattern is caused by cooper with 5 dimensions, from Gargantua, through time, across space and on earth to be observed in 3 dimensions.

Now for the 3rd signal. the second hand of the Hamilton automatic watch ticks for each second. from earth (where time is invisible) we can see the watch tick once every second but to Cooper, on Gargantua, since time is a 4th physical dimension, he can observe the seconds, which causes the ticking of the watch, as a physical entity through his eyes. Now he reaches out into space and gently plucks these seconds (like you would pluck a guitar or a harp) and on earth the second hand ticks in Morse code for Murph to see.

Okay so we've talked about the visible dimensions inside Gargantua, what about the invisible ones. Time and gravity, which are invisible on earth, are visible inside Gargantua, so, there must also be one or two invisible dimensions. What is that thing that tells Cooper that Murph would understand his signals? Has "Love" been portrayed as the invisible dimension inside the Tesseract?

Interstellar #2 - What happened with "Mann"

First of the two major points that stood out for me in the movie.

Dr. Mann has faked the data he found on the new icy planet and lured endurance and its scientists to land there. When he learns that cooper would be leaving the planet on his shuttle to get back to earth he takes him to a lonely spot and tries to kill him, while talking about how humans have not "yet" evolved enough to put the importance of surviving as a species above saving loved ones (which, in this context, borders on selfish). This emphasizes the fact that humans are the youngest species on the universe (meaning, if there were other species on the universe, aliens, they, as a species, would be more evolved as they've been alive for a longer period than humans). So, the "beings" mentioned every now and then can either be taken for God and Angels or as an alien race which wants to see humans grow and evolve by helping them survive.

Mann portrays the raw human nature which portrays man as being rash and selfish (when he talks about success of the mission and ultimately his glory on achieving it) but still wants to leave his cohorts behind and get out of the icy planet. while cooper is struggling to breathe through the ammonia in the atmosphere, Mann experiences an inner conflict which being human, wants to save his new friend and being a scientist wants not to jeopardize the mission. I imagine scientists going through this conflict every now and then, growing up believing something only to learn and realize that their belief system "could be" wrong. the key word here is "could be" because the biggest, life altering theories one can learn are just that, theories and not hard facts, not yet.

Sso why is the planet so icy. If u want it to be un-inhabitable u could've made it rocky with no water, an atmosphere rich with toxic gases, surface that can explode anytime, I don't know a hundred possible scenarios? and you choose ice. I believe ice shows the cold, unforgiving and non-compassionate nature of humans when it comes to putting their self before others. There's another possible explanation. Americans in general don't like the cold, they prefer warm, sunny days over the cold ones. Is that why an uninhabitable planet came to be an icy surface with frozen clouds and a final settlement camp of humans looks warm and cozy?

Interstellar #1

From the limited knowledge I gained in the past couple years I have been able to understand Interstellar and I would like to impart the knowledge to everyone who's eager to understand the movie. The explanation is in 4 parts: First we learn about the big terms and their meanings, Then we talk about the two major moments in the movie that confused everybody and finally the questions that arise once you've understood what you've seen and an attempt to try and answer them yourself. So in this first post lets see about those big terms.

- Wormholes are a purely theoretical concept which exist only as mathematical equations and in science fiction. They're a shortcut through space-time which enables us to cover greater distances in space. Its highly improbable that a wormhole exists in space that would allow such a travel.

- Black holes are real and they do exist in the observable universe.

*Contrary to popular belief they're not holes in the middle of the universe

*They're not stars that have burst/ exploded and left a gap in the middle of the universe

*A black hole is a star that has expanded beyond a certain critical mass, which resulted in its gravity increasing exponentially and due to such gravitational pull its impossible for anything (including light, the fastest observed wave/particle in the universe) to escape from the surface of it. Since there's no light being emitted from it, it has to appear like a black gap in the middle of the universe (which has been visually imagined in this movie)

- Event Horizon is usually recognized as the space surrounding the black hole. where the pull of gravity is infinity.

- Singularity is a tiny point in space where density of matter is infinity and time didn't exist. It is believe that the universe came to be, from such a singularity.

-Theory of relativity : Time is relative, the reference of time differs from observer to observer based on the point from where they're observing it. Time is faster for astronauts in orbit and comparatively slower for observers on earth. To understand this concept let's consider an illustration from "The Grand Design" which goes like this.

(this example is not to be confused over the train example for inertia) : person A is bouncing a ball while travelling on an airplane, when the ball hits the ground and bounces back, for an observer inside the plane (A) the ball has not traveled any distance over time. It has just gone down and bounced back to his hand. But for an observer on the ground (person B) watching the ball bounce inside the plane, when the ball went down and bounced back up it has travelled from position x --> y over time. So the flow of time appears different for every observer based on the point of observation.

- And finally, gravity stretches time through space. If you're on an object in space that exerts high gravity like a black hole, for an observer on the black hole time runs at the same speed as before entering it, but for an observer from outside the black hole, time stretches and expands and hence appears to have moved faster (and hence have run longer) with reference to the person on the black hole. 

Puzzles

If you ask me to define a woman, I won't say she has more estrogen(E), no, she just has less testosterone(T). If having more estrogen makes you crazy and beautiful at the same time, then maybe the less testosterone is what makes you tough and soft, weak and strong and all the other crap that we cannot understand about you.

I'd like to think the same is true for men. If the higher T makes us more violent, the lesser E is what brings out the human side to us. So if you think about it, its a synchronized dance of sorts. E & T in perfect balance.

But if you think more about it, there is a chance that 'compatibility' with your partner is finding the % of E/T that you lack, in them. Or simply put, find the right kind of crazy, who you feel comfortable being crazy with. Much like puzzle pieces, having tabs and blanks. Find the right piece that you would fit with perfectly.

Most often you end up with the piece that seems to fit you. There might be a small misfit at one corner or little discomfort in the fit. We tend to look over these minor defects, but only till the rest of puzzle locks itself together. Once the big picture gets more clearer, we let go of the misfit and settle down at our right place, waiting for all the other pieces to fall in together.

Sometimes we look for it sometimes we carry on with the rest of the puzzle. But that perfect fit will somehow find its way to you. It could be in the near future or it could be the final piece, but the puzzle is never complete without it.

Btw, what about the puzzle pieces having all tabs or all blanks? my God what was I thinking. Puzzles were a bad example. But then again, if you take a puzzle piece having all blanks or all tabs, its not always easy to find the right matching piece, but not impossible either. 

Cheers !

What we like !

Ever heard the famous saying, "I have no idea what she's thinking"? I'm hoping this new series of blogs might solve such issues.

First let's talk about likes, yes it differs based on our background and circumstances, but in a relationship, with the right perspective, you can decipher it without having to talk about it to each other. Men and women have different tastes and likes. It's always harder to understand what your partner likes or why anyone would like that. Well, let's get right to our topic.

Men like new. Ever wonder why actresses come and go? Why they cannot stay at the same rank forever? I mean if someone is hot she's going to stay hot until old-age takes over. And of course women age like fine wine, but still they couldn't keep their place in the field. Old actors have a bigger group of female fans, whereas old actresses couldn't keep their male fans in their purses. This is partly because of hormone changes, both natural and induced/artificial and also because new actresses can always replace old ones and get to the top very easily(and hence the induced hormone changes).

For men, new is good, new is exciting. It could be anything, a new car in the market, a new bike, new watch that's trending in their work/social neighborhood. New technology, new gossip(true!), new girl in the campus, you get the picture.

But it's kind of hard for the girl to become something new every day. Solution is to do something new to keep your guy on leash. Some tips would be a new makeover(not too much), a new perfume(yes we notice if we really like you), a new dish(you've heard it right, the way to a man's heart is indeed through his stomach, palate to be precise). A new dressing style, well here it gets tricky, new does not mean weird, new means different from the usual. Again, do not over-do this, when it comes to dressing, being presentable is on top of everything else. So there it is, new is always attractive for men. Careful now, new things doesn't mean we like to go shopping for them, it means exactly the opposite, it's doing something new not buying something new (although surprise gifts are much appreciated).

There is a difference between the way Men and Women look at movie stars. When a guy looks at an actress his mind goes "whoa! hot!" basically he's just admiring her, which is why the heat wears of quickly when there's a new girl in town. When a girl looks at an actor, she thinks (as usual). She goes "who the hell is he? new guy?" If he's not famous yet, then there's a high chance his look factor will go un-noticed. His history is important here.

Ah! now our favorite subject, Women. What does women like. Big question really, but I'm going to try and simplify the answer here. Women like big. Yes, let me explain. Notice the world of cinema. Women are attracted to big names. Think of any favorite actor of your girl and look at his history, let's say first movie. Nobody liked them in their first movie appearance, but once he got famous, say a big director's movie or a big music director's songs or he gives a box office hit and suddenly girls are on him like anything(and that's how actors can keep their positions much longer). The list goes on, big cars, big bikes, big pay-slip, big house(with excuses such as comfort and accessibility), tall and well built (but not fat) guys.

How can this be resolved in a relationship, well get her big things (making her something big is fine, but frankly you cannot make a big car in your garage, you have to buy one). As I always say, women are emotional, so big words(song lines, movie lines, take your pick) and big experiences(surprise weekend getaways for example) would go a long way in a relationship. Also big stuff. Let's say you bought her a teddy bear last time, once you've run out of gifting ideas go for a bigger teddy bear(it works). Big promises(only if you're planning to keep them, or else they do back fire). So there you go.

By the way, Women have an unfair advantage here, they can make new things out of themselves. As I said, a new hairstyle, new dress or a new perfume can really catch a man's attention but what would a Man do, he cannot keep getting bigger. Well that's for another time to discuss.

Cheers!

P.S:- About the favorite actor thing, well she's going to deny it when you ask her about it(read my previous blogs). There's a process. First ask her for the name then ask her what was his first movie. If you don't know that answer yourself you can always google it. Now there's a high chance the movie name she says is the one he got popular on or the one someone said, was his first movie, once he got very famous. After confirmation go with the truth, if you really plan to have a heated argument over it.

What Is Wrong With Kadal‏ - Spoiler Alert !

Fair warning! Its going to be a long story. I was excited like a little kid when I was going to watch kadal. The movie was overall good, not great, slightly overcooked in a lot of places.

Let's start from the beginning. Bergman's language and accent as a youngster in the seminary was very rich but later into the movie during his old age, not so much and I didn't find any justification in the movie for this. Sam was this cold but good hearted, kind of a nerdy character at the beginning. The seminary brought Agni Natchathiram and Minnale memories.

The title, man I have to talk about this. The background music and the camera frame, can it get any better than this. Gave me the chills, almost as if I was standing on that hill top myself. To be fair the bgm was top notch throughout the movie. I mean if you were impressed with the album be ready to get your mind blown with the re-recording. About the camera, well we'll have to talk later.

The roughness of the fishermen in Tamilnadu is very well documented. It’s a no bullshit portrayal of people living by the sea and off the sea, right from their wardrobe to the beedi and tea shop conversations. Now the mother's death, camera shots were too tight and elegant which was absolutely not necessary. It didn't bring out the tragedy as much as the leg breaking did. Chithirai nila song, while I wouldn't say an apt choice given the proceedings, it was a nice touch since the child is finding its steps.

Talking about finding steps, the first occurrence of the magudi song was, well, I didn't like it plain and simple. I would've run with chithirai nila itself. I believe that would've been an apt choice. The child is indeed finding its steps and what explains it better than the lines 'ettu vai makka'.

A child put through gruesome tragedies, taken up and nurtured by a kind hearted guy, growing up worshiping his mentor, falling in love, getting into fights, going bad and then finding his way back to the mentor, finally saving the day, well that's as old as Tamil cinema itself.

I must say this; Mani Ratnam has indeed conquered a new frontier in Tamil cinema, the Sea. I don't remember anyone else who got this deep into the sea until now. Sea related Tamil movies usually portrayed sea as just a beach but this movie takes us all the way in. Elay keechan song was shot well, but the modern girls dancing, masquerading as the locals was an eyesore. The boat/love scenes shot at, what I believe was allleppey backwaters was a bad choice. People tend to recognize it after the huge success of VTV.

Enter Beatrice, well the names in this movie, while unusual, were different in a good way. Bea was beautiful, angel was the apt description both on and off screen. While the scope of the character was good through the movie actual appearance of the character on screen was just meant to be cute and that played out rather okay I would say, climax felt a bit funny than pity, says the laughter from the balcony seats.

I felt the story line was butchered in a bad way. There was a lot left for us to fill up. Lacked continuity and felt like a lot of stuff compressed to fit the time. Exact opposite to NEP I would say, where 1 hour content was dragged beyond limits to fit the time. Nenjukulle was not choreographed so well, but acceptable given the proceedings in the song. Adiye was my personal favorite but I’m not sure when I’ll be able to listen to the song again. I’m not a dancer, I don’t know choreography, but there was not one aspect in the way the song was shot that made me like it.

Gautham is an amazing find. Yes he's the son of a big shot actor but he wouldn't need that tag. Such talent and skill especially in the second occurrence of magudi, now that's how it must’ve been. The actor and the song competing against each other, trying to prove who's better. We already loved the song and it was definitely made better by Thomas/Tom. He's destined for greatness. Right from sailing the boat, turning off Yamaha using his clutch, running across boats, stunts during the song, fight at the fish market, falling in love, breaking bad, I mean the guy pulled off a 180 stretch on the top of a car. What a way to starr in a movie and what a way to kick start a career, nurtured by Mani himself, Tom is going places. I just hope the over praising television media doesn’t spoilt this new talent.

Jerina was a beautiful addition. Classy and elegant, her love for Bergman knows no bounds, which is evident from how she explains it to Sam but as soon as she was brought to church the plan becomes clear. While this was a neat idea, it was confusing when Bergman walked into the cell and said he was indeed shot down and was in need of help given that he's such a big shot in the city, a don, rich with necessary connections, he did not see that coming? If this was all a master plan to destroy Sam, then why would he say he needed help?!?

Speaking of unexpected twists and turns, well there weren't any, at least for me. Bea runs away from hospital, acts weird in bus with Gautham, wasn't so hard to guess something was wrong with her. Then there was the whole church scene with Jerina. Later Sam was taken to the bell tower for no reason and seeing the bell swing was a dead giveaway for what was going to happen next. Bergman tells Gautham he had a child through an affair, meanwhile Gautham was in love with a girl whose parents' names were a mystery, didn't take us till the hot debate of Gautham with Kalairani to figure out what happened there. Sam was almost shot to dead by Bergman but he suddenly reappears in the boat, bound and tied, of course the daughter was also alive.

Rajiv Menon’s camera, well speaks for itself. Particularly the climax shot on the boat at the sea, such tight compositions, he has handled them well. He is one of the reasons to actually watch this movie. Art, from the church to the fish market, it was extraordinary. The dialogues in the movie, I must say the director had broke his code and made people talk a lot in this movie. Even though one wouldn’t understand most of the stuff said on screen, mostly because of the accent and partly because the artists talked so fast, the rich language and accent was delivered nicely. If you are used to that southern accent you would know it was almost perfect, also understand why it was so hard to decipher.

Finally, with the best crew in town Kadal was a neat movie which could’ve been handled better, a lot better. It wasn’t the best work of Mani sir, but then it was not like any of his other movies. Kadal was a kind of its own. 3 hours well spent, 2 days of regret, wonderment for the rest.

We are boys

Hmm! So what about us. What are we? What makes us boys? What is our thought process? Pretty simple if you ask me, we’re practical beings. We like being practical, we analyze everything (yes, everything). But women analyze too, from the ingredients in their cosmetics to the kind of food they wanna eat at a particular time of day (yes they do). So what makes our analysis different? Simple, our analysis is solution oriented. We wanna solve it, whatever IT maybe, and get to a solution right then and there.

Solution, isn't that what everyone wants? Women go like, if I wanna get myself a dress, I decide on the right attire for the occasion, go to the right shop, get the right kind of material, choose the right kind of dress and stitch and color (which is very important) so that I can feel comfortable wearing my dress. Well, we also think about the right attire for the occasion, we are very picky when it comes to material and color (although we never agree to this when confronted) and choose ourselves a dress that helps us be comfortable.

The difference comes when you have to feel comfortable and we have to be comfortable. To feel something, we keep that separate from the rest of our lives, whereas women want to feel something with almost everything they come in contact with. This doesn't make us “idiots with no feelings” we feel only those things which feeling is associated with, say happiness, sadness, love, lonely. Unlike women who feel like having a burger or feel like going shopping, some women even feel like someone is a bad person. We eat when we’re hungry, we buy stuff when we need stuff,  simple as that.

So, to my first question, what are we? Well it’s a list, kind-of  First, we’re adventurous. Right from purchasing a cycle without any assurance whether we’ll ride it or not to falling in love with a girl without knowing her background (without considering our background as well). Now wait a minute, women do that too, sometimes, not so often. Well that’s the difference, we do it every time (now don’t tell me your boyfriend never does that, it’s a whole another topic of discussion). Very rarely do we stop ourselves from making a decision. Women constantly worry about what others might think or say about us if we take that step. We do stuff, worry later.

We’re travelers  What is travel? Going from point A to point B in a certain amount of time? That’s not travelling that’s commuting. How about taking a trip to the Himalayas on our bikes then? Well friend, you've been misled. When you put it simply, To travel is to confront one’s self. Go to the nearest beach, at sunrise or sunset, stand at the shore without any footwear, marvel at the scene nature paints in front of your eyes. Feel the warmth of the sun on your skin, breathe in the serene breeze around you, feel the earth beneath your feet and lose yourself to the moment, that my friend, is travel. Be it on top of the Himalayas or bottom of the Atlantic ocean, how much you lose yourself is how much you find yourself.

“Pfft! We women do that all the time”, exactly. Admiring a sunrise or a puppy is good, but doing it every time kind of beats the purpose.

We’re foodies. Now, whoever said “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”, the guy was a genius. We love food, any time of the day. We let women rule the kitchen, not because we thought that’s where she belongs but because we wanted you guys to cook for us. It’s a privilege actually. Easiest way to conquer a man’s heart (and I don’t think it works the other way around, let me explain that later). It doesn't matter what you cook or how you cook (although a favorite dish will help the occasion), what matters for us is that, you tried. If the dish comes out well and satisfies our palette, it’s a sealed deal.

And finally (phew), we’re lovers. Yes girls, we love you. Doesn't matter what you do, once you find a place in our hearts, you stay there forever. You girls show your love through care (or smothering), by being there (or clinging), with jealousy (or possessiveness). Even though we don’t show our love in what we do (which every girl expects us to do), the love we have for you will always grow with time and never decline.

We love you, doesn't matter what you do. We love the way you squint your eyes when you're gossiping, the way you tug your hair behind your ears, how you mess up stuff and cry for silly things, how you admire every little thing with the same kind of enthusiasm like the first time you did. We love the way you decide or choose stuff from a bunch, the way (we think) your mind works while thinking something. We love the way you feel so tiny when held closely, the way you hug like you’re at your strongest when you’re with us. We love you, like hell. Why? Beats me.

I know guys, long boring blog. There’s a reason for that. Its all in the words!

P.S.:- this blog does not even come close to explaining what makes us who we are, this is just a hopeless attempt at explaining what you girls should know, from day one!

Learning to Let Go !

I was around 8 when I bought my first bicycle. Dad, with utmost care, bought me one of those kids bicycle with supporting wheels on it. I rode it till I got bored and wanted to get rid of those supporting wheels, and thus began my first bicycle training with Dad.

He used to grab my cycle from behind since I haven't found my balance yet, used to run along with me, doesn't matter what speeds I rode in, true care. It was the same for a few more days. One fine evening, we went for a training session. I was riding with my Dad's support and suddenly noticed I don't hear his footsteps running with me anymore. I turn back and he was looking at me from a fair distance and smiling, such pride in his face, his son had finally learnt his balance. I ride a few more feet and thump!, fell on my hands and knees and the road gave me a few scratches.

I get home, hurt and bleeding. I imagine the usual scenario at home when I return from street cricket with similar wounds, but Mom was so calm, took care of my wounds. We had dinner and went to bed. In bed at night, I stay up thinking, "why did Dad let go of my cycle?" "why Mom didn't give me a new lecture for my wounds?" "what changed?" "have I grown up?" (a childhood wish). Took me 24 years to understand what had happened and I bet it'll take a few more to be there and do it.

My Dad must've known I would crash and fall at some point, he must've known it was necessary for me to learn to get back up when I fall down and in the process learn how to ride a bicycle. All these years I've been told that there's no greater love than our parents' love for us. How was he able to overcome his love and care for his son to let go of his bicycle, being well aware of what was going to happen next, simple, he knew when to let go.

Sometimes we hold on to people, so much for so long that we just can't let go of them. No matter how much it is necessary to do so, even when they decide to leave us or fate decides to separate us. It all depends on the maturity level of a human being. It doesn't mean we're rude/stupid, it just means that we're not mature enough to let go. We couldn't weigh our love for them against the necessity to let go.

This isn't just any blog entry, this isn't funny like my other blogs supposedly are. I write this blog with tears in my eyes and pain in my heart. I lost a friend, a brother, my pillar and my well-wisher. Without him it's never gonna be the same. I miss him and I'll always do. I haven't learnt the art, to let go, I'm still immature. In the coming years, I believe I'll have the strength and maturity to let go. Letting go (not "giving up") takes years to mature and then some, to practice. 

I sincerely hope that, when I grow up like my Dad, I would have the heart to let go and the maturity to accept the necessity to let go. As I wipe my tears off, I pray to God and the angels of the heaven to be with me, strengthen me and inculcate in me, the ability to let go. The memories that make me cry now, will be my most prized treasures in the years to come, these memories will make me feel alive and show me that my life was worth living.

Marriage Aftermath

Women, they have a description of a perfect guy. And we all know this description. "Taller than me, well built, fit health wise and body wise, handsome, well settled, good language and enough vehicles". This is what they want, but most of them accept to the fact that all this in a single person is too much to ask so they settle for a person who doesn't have one or two of these qualities.

What happened here is compromise. When u don't get what u want, then settle for what u have. But what men do is whine about how he's single and how girls always settle for the perfect ones. Basic problem is that men don't think emotionally.

When a girl leaves a guy for another one, she undergoes an emotional suicide. Luckily emotions are not physical objects so she can create them again. When she makes a choice it's not based on what the guy thinks she fell for. Guys think she went for the easy, effortless and settling down option, but a girl, even though gets all the above advantages, travels a different path. I wouldn't say harder path because who suffers most, the guy or girl is a totally different topic for another time.

Let me explain the different path which she has to go through. At first it seems as if she didn't want to leave her comfort zone so she settled for someone her parents chose for her. But she has to calculate, not his pay check, but her emotional tally. She wants to keep her family, she grew up with mom's food and dad's lap to sleep which she don't want to sacrifice. Of course we men too had them all but we don't include them as a component when we have to choose that over the love of our life.

Next comes siblings, a very important component. She might have fought with her siblings all 25 years but when she has to leave them it would still break her heart. Suddenly she wouldn't want to live without them. Next cousins, almost the same case. So basically she's a person entangled among her relations. When she wants to include you inside of it and you don't fit in, because of her relatives or yours, she breaks out, she's pushed into making a choice. When we have to choose we would easily choose what we want because its right in front of us. But for her it's all in her mind, a whole package. So she does go for the easy option within her comfort zone, not because of the reasons you'd think.

The reason I want to write about this is to try and explain men what great ordeal their wives have to undergo to be with them and that it's not the same as how we do it. Being a practical creature he knows he's too grown up to be with his parents/relatives and that its time to give all of himself to his life partner. But she on the other hand, thinks that she's too grown up to leave her parents alone when they're growing old so she wants to keep them along while taking your hand in marriage.

What I'm trying to say is,
1) When she gets over such emotional suicides, leaves her whole family and goes with you, she's heartbroken. She's not going to heal when you want her to heal. Her healing is a whole another process and its going to take a minimum of the same amount of years she put in to grow up with them. So embrace it. She could be a single person to see but she's a whole package. Embrace all of it. Take care of her and help her heal and for that she'll pour all her love on you. 

2) When she leaves someone she loved to the choice of her parents. She's again heartbroken. But luckily it won't take as much time as the 1st case does, coz she knew him for a shorter duration. But the difficult part comes where you don't know about her past relationship yet. My advice, don't try to know, don't pry it out of her, but give her time to heal. She's already yours and that'll heal her quickly. Now when you do come to know of it, embrace it. She chose to leave him and be with you. It's a hardship if you imagine doing the same. So accept it, be there for her and again help her heal, she's going to pour all her love on you.
This way marriages won't break and divorce lawyers won't get to buy exotic cars and still afford to fuel them in India.

This makes me wonder, why don't I ever write about what a guy goes through, when in a relationship, during/after a breakup (which are both very different things) and in marriage. Well, another time, cheers !!!

Leelai

I just wanted to write a review about this movie, no particular reason. Maybe I waited too long for this movie.

To start with, it’s a dream, a dream of every Indian youngster. When you picture the IT sector of India, this is what you see in your mind. But what most people don’t know is that this is the dream of every IT professional as well.

Just imagine a posh apartment where everything is always clean and designed in a way you see homes in those coffee commercials. Many would kill to own such an apartment, and somehow all the characters in the movie who’s working in IT seem to own such an apartment, imagine that. And yes, they drive a car to work every day. An AC car to work, every day, in Chennai with a software professional’s salary (barf here), you don’t see that always.

Both male and female lead roles have a good friend to spend time with, and the good friend character is from the opposite sex. Everyone needs and deserves someone like that, a good friend from the opposite sex to spend time with, a good company, appreciated.

Oh yes, the best part of the movie, the male and the female leads. Actors, yes they are, and it shows. Some places it seems as if they’re reading it from the prompter. The girl wants to casually put her hands in her jeans pockets while talking to her friend, but for some reason she’s avoiding it and it's very obvious. The boy had tried to dance. I wouldn’t have done it better so I appreciate the effort. For his height it was a little funny though.

From the beginning of this blog I’ve been waiting to get to this part. Okay the girl, beautiful girl. And she’s got this beautiful black hair with curls in the end, heaven.  She’s the right height for the boy, a perfect fit for hugs and smooches. She’s just enough fair, lean but not thin ("not thin" is very important btw). Big watery eyes and they sometimes sparkle, especially whenever the name “Karthik” is uttered in front of her, the sparkle in her eyes looks prominent more than her disgust of the boy. 

 

She’s got a good dressing sense, which most of my city girls lack in plenty. She can drive a car but I wouldn’t guarantee 0 accidents, she just doesn’t do the usual stupid things girls do inside their cars, like looking at their makeup in the rear view mirror. Wearing minimum jewels, one thin chain, earrings, two rings, appreciate the care. And her makeup was almost natural. The makeup portrays a normal IT girl who knows how to take care of herself, who knows how to present herself well. Easy to find a girl in our streets with that amount makeup, it was that normal. But in dream songs she looked a little plastic, which is acceptable, it’s a dream right.

Now, ladies, the boy, he is everything a girl can ask for and a boy can get jealous on. He’s tall, fair than the girl. He’s handsome, always clean shaved, no stubble on his face. Well built, straight nose, broad shoulders, lean, no tummy (which is very important for women, I have no idea why). His hair is cut just enough, it’s not too much or too less, it’s just perfect and wavy not curly (some women would kill for that).

He doesn’t drink or smoke, which is no surprise because he’s a Chennai boy. In Chennai a boy who drinks and/or smokes will look odd, and the one who doesn’t is available in surplus. He doesn’t wear any jewels, just a steel strap watch; appreciate the care in presentation again. If Karthik was created to make girls drool he’s a failure, he just stays in their heads and would annoy their boyfriend sometimes. He opens the door for the lady, a gentleman (as girls would like to describe) and in one particular scene, he wears a pink shirt and he’s on an attractive IT payroll, which could be an instant turn on (oh come on, let’s face the facts here).

Music is out of the ordinary. There was a big gap between the release of music and release of the movie, which gave us plenty time to memorize the lyrics, was able to hear murmurs of every song. “Oru Kili” lyrics were just fantastic with Shreya and Sathish’s magical voice, the song is just out of the world. Visuals were okay for this song, reminded me of the saree commercials. “Pon Maalai” visualization did justice to the lyrics, the music and the resources in the movie.

“Jillendru Oru Kalavaram” shows the innocence of young love. Occupied a permanent place in all of my playlists, again the lyrics were nothing usual, synchronized well with the music, made the low notes, sing-along and the high notes, stand out. “Unnai Partha Pinbu” showed the pain of love, I liked the way it was portrayed. Was wondering where the “Bubble Gum” is gonna fit in, thankfully it wasn’t pushed in anywhere.

The comedy track was good, not up-to the mark. At the time there was not much expectation from Santhaanam, so, having him and not able to laugh at certain places was disappointing. It didn’t have to be him. Suhasini was cute throughout the movie. Good choice for a friend, although she made some of us, audiences fall in love with her. She has a charm and knows how to work her charm, should definitely be appreciated for playing her part right.

Overall, the movie had everything but a captivating plot. The plot was a little immature and funny, but it did look good in an Indian IT sector background. 

Watching an IT love story, among young couples of the corporate age and college, far from the busy and polluted city; over hearing the secret whispers and silent giggles of the love birds in the movie theatre gave us a very good movie experience.

I’m satisfied. Cheers!!!

Understanding Feminine - Part I

I'm gonna give this to you plain and simple. She won't understand ur thoughts/ideas. She only understands your feelings. Her brain is not wired that way. U can lie 'I love u' and she'll go 'awwww!' U can say the truth 'Lionel's footwork is out of the world' and she'l go 'why wud I even care!!'. This is why the wrong guys with the right set of words can impress a girl rather than the right guy with truth filled in their hearts and their tongues (or maybe not their hearts, lets say minds) coz feelings are best expressed with words.

 
U cannot expect her to understand ur passion, goals, aim or anything remotely related to these things. (But if she says she does, she just loves u so much that she chose to ignore the differences over these stuff). Main reason for this is, she thinks she's being practical wit u, which she cannot. A girl can never be practical. All her thoughts are based on emotions. Emotion by its definition is not practical.

In the end if ur big dream does come true, she'd say she just wanted to give a fair warning. And if it didn't, she'd say 'I told u to be more practical' sounds diplomatic but it’s not. To be diplomatic u need to hav that one thing in mind. So obviously a girl cannot be diplomatic coz she has a zillion things running in her mind at any given time.

So wht is it. How can she give such cute answers dat make u agree to her, no matter if u're right or wrong? One, coz she's cute and u luv her for it, ur mind wud choose to see her dat way even if she's picking her nose.

And two, coz her mind works in a funny way, where the same scenario occuring in two different time periods, have the tendency to produce two completely different emotions, conclusions, reactions and/or judgment.

Let me prove my theory with an example. U're going to meet her, on the way u see her fav burger joint and u buy two for the both of u. U give them to her, she opens the pack and goes 'but I never like burgers, where's my favorite chicken' then u go 'but dat day u loved those burgers' and she goes 'but it was DAT DAY'

Wait it’s not over yet, couple months later u go to meet her again. This time u bought her favorite chicken. She opens the pack and goes 'u didn't get me my favorite burger'. Now u go 'but dat day u said u luvd only the chicken and not the burgers' and she goes 'but it was DAT DAY' see wht I mean?

This is the same reason why she'd get mad at her frnd for breaking up with his/her gf/bf. She'l keep saying whtever the frnd did was not right and they must'v tried to patch up again. But when she breaks up with her boyfriend she thinks she's not like her friend and she has a valid reason for the breakup (well girls, everyone does hav a valid reason) and she thinks it’s totally right wht she did (right or wrong is not the point of argument here)

My question is. If wht u did was right how do u blame ur frnd wrong for the same reason. And if wht they did was not right. How come u do the same thing and somehow it seems right to u? Well dat question (and this whole blog) is for the boys.

So, boys, its becoz of the theory I said before. Same scenario, two different conclusions/emotions/reactions. It’s completely natural with a girl and ther's no point being mad at her for this reason. Its ur loss not hers. Coz she was created this way and ther's no changing it. She can try but she cannot change her basic nature, which is, being feminine.

That is why women can drive autos, heavy bikes, sports cars or even planes. But they still wud be bad drivers and we wud never stop loving them coz that’s how we were created..!

Cheers..!!

5 Questions

Relationship is a mess, most of them are, but a beautiful mess. But wherever we find a mess, we clean it or we at least try to. I have here, 5questions that can clean the mess out of a relationship, suitable for most of them.

I write these questions in a girl point of view, as in a girl/woman should ask them to herself. That is just because it is easier for me to talk from a boy point of view, coz I know what I want from her.

Let me just state that, in all fairness, the 5questions stands good for boys as well as girls. Whoever wants to save their relationship ofcourse. When u’re determined to leave him/her then who’s to stop you.

So when do we need these questions? What to do with them? How are they gonna help us out of a mess? When I first told them to a friend I was talking about problems in a relationship and how to overcome such problems. So it’s for the bad times, obviously.

And, just to make the thinking process simpler and easier (especially for the girls who think a lot, hence resulting in arguments and ultimately –breakup) I’ve added answers to the questions as well.

So, next time when u get so angry that u wanna burst out into an argument, when u feel the urge to fight with each other, hold it for a few seconds, think of the questions below,

1. What will it do to him?

 - It will destroy him, irreparably.

2. If I did the same mistake and he was there in my position, what wud he do?

 - He definitely wouldn’t wanna lose you.

3. Is my point worth the fight/argument?

 - If it’s gonna destroy your partner and ur relationship, then obviously it’s not worth it.

4. What matters the most, proving my point or him?

 - Do we even need an answer for this question? Ofcourse, it’s your partner.

5. Can I just put this all behind me and jus hug him tightly and kiss him?

 - Well, I could get killed for this coz I let the secret out. This is the punch line, the whole point of this blog. Whenever u feel like fighting just drop it, run to him, hug him, works every time. He’ll forget everything, he wud even turn his back on this whole world for you, all he needs is one hug, one kiss (after marriage that is, if I should add, for my Indian folks)

Think this through.

Have a happy valentine’s day..!!

Cheers!!